"At Amaryllis I found a place where I can be myself"

Ralph came to a care agency a few years ago. He had been through a lot: psychosis, suicidal thoughts, a form of PTSD, an anxiety disorder and neurodivergence, meaning he is different from what society sees as 'normal'. At Amaryllis' 'conscious movement' group, he finds peace.

"During that bad period, I completely closed myself off from society," Ralph explains. "I hardly went outside. Yet deep down I was looking for connection and safety. I was looking for a place where I could be myself and work on my self-image. Could become more resilient." He gets in touch with his social worker at Amaryllis and hears about the 'conscious movement' boxing group and decides to join.

"I had written a complete script for my first introduction. It was an emotional speech Martin Luther King would still have envied," he laughs. "I had learned to overcompensate in the years before. Preparing everything to the extreme to prove myself. I had to make myself explain everything and force recognition."

What he got was somewhat different from what he expected. "I didn't have to prove myself. I didn't have to put on a mask and do an application. The message was just: 'you are welcome'".

"Within a few training sessions, I felt the change. Not only physically, but also mentally. The group helped me through a dark, hopeless period in my life. Trainer Pete taught me that when your body wants to give up, you are only at forty per cent. The other sixty per cent is in your head and that's where you can grow. From Hendrik, I learned respect and dosage. Boxing is often seen as something rough, but with us that respect is key. For yourself and your opponent."

Ralph is learning to control himself better. "That overcompensator in me is allowed to be there, but I don't have to let it control me," he says. Besides the lessons he has learned himself, he also has great tips for people going through a difficult period. "Cherish small victories. For many people, getting up, showering, eating and brushing teeth is already a challenge. Secondly, find something that suits you. For me, that was boxing. Don't be put off by what others choose. Tip three: dare to ask for help. More is often possible at Amaryllis or another agency than you think. For example, a sports subscription can be reimbursed from the Adult Fund. And finally: make yourself heard. You are worth it.